Standing alone in my balcony in this foggy morning in a crowded city that I've been living for more than two years. Looking down through 18 floors down there, small street then a dirty river then unfinished destruction of ragged houses. sometime I imagine how does it feel to jump from here, will I fall to that small street, or splash to the dirty smelly river, or to the those ragged houses. seeing my self in pain or even dead down there feels so much easier than living day by day with all of these things around me, expectations, dreams, hopes, disappointments, anger, love, sadness, poverty, global warming, pollution, happiness, etc.
some time I'm thinking what would other people around me think if I'm gone, disappear, not exist; would it be better for them?would it be worse? would they be sad? would they be happy?
some time I want to know what will happen to this world without me? will it make such a difference?
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